


We Found Love (In a Hopeless Place)

by KathyIsWeird



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 08:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyIsWeird/pseuds/KathyIsWeird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Series inspired by the Rihanna song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

In some cities, the snow in the depths of winter was beautiful. In some cities, a layer of powdered sugar layered the streets, making buildings look joyous and quaint. Those cities were in the thoughts and minds of people when the men and women on television said to expect a dusting overnight. Not in Boston though; nothing was ever what they said in Boston.

Boston was beautiful during the spring and the fall, the temperatures were great and the sunshine was plentiful. Right now it was winter in Boston, and everyone was feeling it.

____________________________________________________________________________

The icy winds whipped through the bare trees, snapping their branches back and forth making terrible noises against windows. Snow fell in heaps, making cars disappear under the cold blanket ensuring their owners would be late to work. Fog floated about, making the streets turn into a depressing monochrome. Stores sat empty, the unlucky employees doodling on napkins trying to pass the time until their eventual trek home. Bridges and streets were plowed as quickly as possible; making sure that by the morning the city could continue on as if this blizzard never happened.

Jane Rizzoli shivered so violently that she felt the muscles in her back cramp again. Damn, it was cold out here. Her sweater had long lost the fuzzy fleece feeling and now just hung from her tiny body. It was probably letting more cold in than anything else but it’s all she owned. Jane growled quietly and squinted against the pain, trying her best not to wake the sleeping form in her arms. The body let loose a tiny sigh and Jane’s heart broke again. Maura wasn’t used to this kind of life

her kind of life

the homeless kind of life.

Maura was used to heated homes and warm blankets, family dinners and stockings on Christmas. Jane was used to dirty needles and begging for food, black frozen toes and sleeping on cardboard. Why she gave all that up to caravan with Jane around Boston hiding from her parents, was the big question for the brunette. Now, with her tiny princess clad in just an too-long mens coat and a pair of wool leggings, Maura was shivering in Jane’s arms clinging to her like a child in her sleep.

She would never forgive herself for letting someone like Maura fall in love with her. How could someone love her when she didn’t even love herself? There wasn’t a place in this world for Jane Rizzoli anymore but Maura Isles could change the world; if the world would just let her. Maura stirred a bit, scrunching up her nose and burying her head into Jane’s lap. She never did like waking up.

“J-Jane? I’m so cold, is there a way to b-b-build a fire or something?” Maura stumbled over basic words for her teeth were chattering so loudly that she could barely even form sentences. She loved this girl with all that she had, but they were going to die soon if they didn’t find somewhere to go. It was about 13 degrees in Boston, and all they had were dirty clothes and a backpack full of bread that they dug out of a dumpster the night before. It was frustrating that Maura had all of this wealth behind her but couldn’t use it, she would be found if she did. If she was found, she would shipped off to Switzerland and her parents would order that Jane be killed. Maybe they could find a garbage can in the park and fight someone to light it for them, that took a lot of work though.

Maura had met Jane almost 3 years ago when Maura had gotten her driver license for the first time. The young blonde was so excited to go out on her own that she had gotten herself dreadfully lost in the outskirts of Boston. She sat in her car and tried not to cry and she mentally traced the route she had taken to maybe find out where she had gotten turned around. A small knocking noise had scared her senseless and like a fool, she rolled her window down.

“Excuse me ma’am, but you’re idling in the mud and I just wanna tell yah that I’ve seen a lot of nice cars like yours get stuck for good once you turn your car off. So, do yah want me to push yah out of the mud? I aint got nothin better to do, and you’re kinda parked on my house” The owner of the voice was a tall, very thin girl with an abundance of black curls spilling out over the tattered clothing she wore. She was hauntingly beautiful and made Maura’s heart beat a little bit faster. Disobeying every warning her brain was firing, Maura rose from her seat and got of her car, wondering how she could be parked on someone’s house?

“How could I be parked on your house? This is a baseball field and I don’t see any structures that would be considered a home?” Maura asked with a hint of frustration, she was way outside her comfort zone and this girl made her feel so small and uncomfortable.

“You see that box underneath the rear driver’s wheel, that’s my house. I had to wait outside by the Best Buy dumpster for three hours in the dark to steal it from the worker before they crushed it. That’s my house, and your damn Lexus is parked right on top of it. Now, since you didn’t pay attention to where you were going, I have to wait outside again and try to find a box. If I don’t find another box ‘Ma’am’ I’ll have to go sleep under the bridge cause the crazy man outside of the park said there’s a storm a comin” Jane yelled at the small girl, who had started to cry. Jane knew this girl was not from around these parts and she was just lost. But, Jane was pissed that she would have to dig her shelter out of the mud and try to dry it off before nightfall

“OH! I’m so sorry. Here, have this here. I’ll just find my way home. Once again, I’m so so sorry for ruining your home” Maura backed away after handing Jane a $50 bill. She had crushed this girl’s home and how she felt terrible because was going to go back to her large house on Beacon Hill and have everything this poor, haunted girl would not.

Maura turned around and walked back towards her car, her lips were quivering and her throat was on fire. No, she would not cry for this girl, she was 16 years old and she did not cry in public, even if it hurt her very soul just to see someone suffer this much. She was just about to grab the door handle with a shaking hand when she heard the tiniest little voice.

“House”

Maura spun around just in time to see Jane heave a sigh and spin around, turning to leave

“It’s a house, not a home”

Maura burst into tears and ran back to the girl, grabbing the smaller form and hugging her so hard. She had no idea why she was reacting this way, she never interacted with people. She felt Jane’s hand enter her pocket and she placed a small kiss on Maura’s hair whispering ‘thank you’ into the blonde curls that smelled like sunshine. This girl was warm and she was freezing cold. She had left with a promise to return and realized halfway through her drive home that there was a crumpled $50 dollar bill in her pocket.

She had gone home that day and cried for Jane. She had cried and come back the very next day to see her flattened box with smears of dirt, a halfhearted attempt at cleaning off her house. She had visited Jane that whole winter, finally knowing her name and backstory after almost a month of bringing her goodies and warm food whenever she could. Maura had eventually fallen in love with her and that’s how they ended up here, under a bridge in the middle of winter huddled together in a sleeping bag Maura had taken in a rush to get out of her house.

They hadn’t eaten a meal in weeks, they lived off of dumpster food and sometimes, if they were lucky, the nice lady at the diner across the street would give them leftovers if they had enough change to buy a coffee to share.

Jane always insisted that Maura sleep under her; not even in a sexual way, but Jane needed to protect Maura wherever they went, she wasn’t used to this lifestyle yet. When Jane shivered so badly that she bit her lip, Maura decided enough was enough and rolled over to spoon Jane, who had probably passed out due to hunger, from behind. The steadfast Jane had stolen a pack of expired chocolate from the dollar store and given it to Maura as a Christmas present, refusing to even eat one even though she knew that she needed something soon or she wouldn’t be able to walk much further.

Maura snuggled her cold nose into Jane’s cold bony shoulders and hoped that soon they would be able to find work or food. They weren’t going to make it much longer.

The weeks passed as it got colder and colder and Jane knew Maura was burning out. They had taken residence in the auditorium of the high school since everyone was out on break. They had already swiped as much as they could from the lunch room, but all they really had were condiments; those didn’t fill you up but they did make the hunger pains go away for a bit. Maura had been showering in the girl’s locker room, stealing shampoo from whatever locker was left open but Jane refused to take anything from another person. She didn’t care about businesses, they could handle it. But, Jane flat-out refused to steal from another person.

Maura let herself soak in the shower, knowing this is the last day that they would be able to stay here, it was warming up a tad so the park might be free. Stealing a glance at her lover, Maura noted that Jane’s ribs were sticking out so badly that she looked like a walking skeleton. She could count all of her vertebrae and it was sickening to see the skin just hang off of her. Jane was dying, Maura knew it. She knew that she only had weeks, maybe days left with her. She coughed all the time, and was wheezing so badly that her normally sexy, gruff voice was just a pathetic whisper. She shivered under the scalding spray. Maura’s heart was shattering knowing that Jane was sacrificing herself for Maura’s happiness.

Maura had left her parents because they disapproved of Jane and would not allow Maura to help “common lazy filth” of the streets of Boston. So, when she was caught bringing food on Thanksgiving last year, her mother had told Maura to pack her bags and go live a life of trash and be done with her family. What her parents could not understand is that being wanted and being loved meant more to her than anything else on this godforsaken planet. Maura turned off the water and carefully walked over to the shower where Jane sat on the floor, shaking.

Maura sat behind her, pressing herself against the naked back of her love, whispering that she loved her and that she needed her to keep herself healthy and happy in order to live the future they had planned. Jane just shook her head and brought her knees up to her chest, mumbling that she would be okay. Maura just let her tears silently fall as she hugged Jane even harder, solidifying the fact that she would never let her go.

Jane was not doing well. Maura was sitting in the sand at the park with Jane’s head in her lap. She could barely move anymore and she had a fever that had been burning for about two weeks now. It had been almost a year since Maura had left her family, and she had accepted the fact that she would probably go back to them before this year was up. She had gotten a temp job at the Diner, and was working under the table once a week for 50 dollars doing all the books for the place. The owner’s wife, the nice lady who gave them all the leftovers, had passed away and her husband had no idea how to spell checkbook, let alone balance it.

The first thing Maura had bought was food. She went a little overboard and even bought some pie for dessert. Jane had almost refused it; she didn’t want to take anything from Maura. But, Maura with some gentle prodding, and maybe few sugar-coated playful threats, had gotten Jane to eat a little but she still was looking worse for the wear.

The second thing Maura had purchased was two new outfits for both of them from the local thrift store. It was nearing April and soon the heat of summer would be just as ferocious as the cold winter had been. Jane was now too small for anything but children’s clothing, so finding things to ;fit her was difficult. Maura was amazed by the stark differences between her thoughts now. A year ago, she wouldn’t have spent less than $100 on boots but she was now deciding if $5 was too much to spend. She knew that Jane could care less what she wore, so long as it was warm. She was always cold anymore and wouldn’t stop shivering.

Because of her new income, Maura had developed hope for their future. She wanted children, she wanted a house. She wanted to make love to her wife on an actual bed that they had in a house they had bought the sky was the limit!

But, Jane didn’t have much time left…maybe a few days? Maura stroked her love’s hair and sang songs from her childhood. She didn’t want to admit it, but things were looking bad. Jane was shaking, nearly seizing and Maura just didn’t know what to do anymore. Should she plan a funeral? Should she go the hospital? Should she just lie here?

“Maura, y-you know that you don’t have to stick around. It’s not going to be pretty from here on out and I don’t want you to have to be there for the worst part. I love you and I just can’t do that to you.” Jane muttered, her eyes closing.

“Jane, I won’t leave you. I promise. Okay? I swear”

“Okay?”

“Okay?

“Jane?”

“Jane?!”

“JANE?!” Maura cried, lifting the lithe form into a sitting position, shaking her by her shoulders trying to shake the life back into her. Was this the end?

______________________________________________________________________________

“Remember that year Jane? I remember it, that was the worst year of our lives. We struggled so badly, I thought I would die the first time it snowed. I remember clinging to you all night, praying that we would just die together because I was so hungry that I was seeing things. Times were hard baby girl, they were so hard” Maura said snuggling her naked form up to her wife who was falling asleep as she spoke

“I rem-mer Maura, go to sleep. It’s Christmas t-morrow, and I am not waking up at the asscrack of dawn for nothing. C’mere, I’m cold” Jane murmured into Maura’s hair, which still smelled like sunshine.

Maura laughed a little, it’s so weird to think that just 7 years ago, they were starving to death and now they had a cozy little apartment and a doe eyed 3 year old girl, Eva, to boot. Life was starting to become the future that Maura had dreamed of, and that in itself, was a Christmas miracle.


	2. 2

“You are my sunshine

 

My only sunshine

 

You make me happy

 

When skies are gray

 

You’ll never know dear

 

How much I love you

 

Please don’t take

 

My sunshine aw-away”

Maura’s voice drifted through the hallways of the hospital. Her voice caught as she fought back tears at the end of the chorus; her mother used to sing her to sleep with that very tune. Hopefully it was bringing Jane some peace in her slumber; she had developed pneumonia a few weeks ago and Maura, thinking she had died, had picked up her limp body and carried her to the hospital. It had taken over two hours, and towards the end, Maura was wobbling and her vision was blurring. Even if she had gained some strength back, and Jane was a whopping 80 pounds, her body still wasn’t used to the effort it took. She had actually fainted in the waiting room, and had to be put in a bed as well.

 

When she had woken, Maura had panicked for two reasons. One: She had no idea what had happened to Jane, she last remembered walking towards the parking lot of the Hospital and Two: She had and I.V. and a bandage around her arm. She had panicked and tried to remove the offending needle and bandage, triggering the call system for the nurses

 

After the nurses had calmed Maura down (most likely chemically) she had asked about Jane. Where did she go? Was she alive? Was she alone? The poor nurses almost couldn’t even understand her. Eventually, she had persuaded the staff to let her visit Jane for just a few minutes; Jane was still weak and very vulnerable. The list of things hurting Jane was endless, and it would take weeks of hydrating and antibiotics to help her. Jane was actually 50% of the weight she should have been. Her muscles had begun to decay; she was literally dying while they were at the park.

 

They gave Maura false pleasantries; she knew what they really thought of her. Two girls, nearly 20 years old, should have friends they could crash with or be in college attending frat parties. They shouldn’t be living under bridges, in parks, or the occasional stairwell. They knew that they were considered social scum; no one wanted to help people that should be able to help themselves. The churches would help, but Maura couldn’t pretend to believe in something that she didn’t just to get false sympathy from people who looked down on her. She could always go back to her parents, if she wanted to never see the light of day again.

 

This was her major act of defiance; she left without a second glance. You know what hurt the worst? There wasn’t even a “missing” poster or a single indication that her parents even missed her. Well, their loss.

 

Jane moved in the bed once more, grabbing Maura’s hand weakly. It had been three weeks and Jane still couldn’t talk; she had been intubated when she had ceased lung function and it wasn’t scheduled to come out for a few more days. Even then, she wasn't really an overly emotive person in public.

 

The streets had changed Jane; she had run away at age 13 and had never looked back. At age 14, Jane was in a children’s street gang; stealing from the elderly and pickpocketing everything they could find. Maura didn’t know much after that; she sensed that Jane wasn’t comfortable with her life up until she had met Maura. So, Maura never asked.

 

“Listen Jane, when we get out of here we’re going to find a place okay? I’ll see if Bruce will let me back at the diner. I can be a waitress, right? Maybe he’ll let you work there too! Can you even cook? I’ve never asked you; I guess that I never really needed to know? I’m getting released tomorrow, maybe I can go ask.

 

Maura dug around in her pockets and produced the little plastic ring they had found outside the arcade last spring. Jane had jokingly gotten down on one knee and proposed to Maura in the streets. The people walking by just shook their heads, embarrassed to see such a display between the two women. Maura didn’t see any of them as she bent over and hugged Jane so fierce that she expected her love to shatter. Whispering a “yes!” into Jane’s ear, the blonde shed a few tears thinking about the wedding they would never have. Who would come? They had no one.

 

Maura knew better than to ask about Jane’s family; it was a topic she wouldn’t even acknowledge if you asked her. She just assumed they were dead or at least dead to Jane. She sometimes wished she knew more about Jane, it would make their relationship so much stronger. They had been dating for nearly two years now, but had known each other for a little bit more. But, Maura was still nervous around Jane when she got angry or irritated. She loved Jane more than life itself, and it hurt her to see her lover so torn in those moments

 

With a sad sight, Maura slipped the ring into Jane’s hand and pushed it into a closed fist. It was their sign that the one would be back and not to worry. Maura had some errands to run and some favors to beg for. This would not be a fun trip around the city, which was heating up rather quickly. She placed a small kiss on Jane’s array of dark curls and whispered that she would be back soon, hopefully with a job.

 

Maura left the hospital with a small nod to the nurse at the front desk. They hadn’t asked her the inevitable question yet, who would pay for their care? They didn’t have addresses or anyone to call. Maura had an insurance card from nearly 3 years ago from when her parent’s had still cared, maybe that would pacify them long enough for them to run again.

 

Maura exited the drab waiting room and walked through the electric doors, sunlight hitting her face. She realized that her life could be much worse: what if Jane had died in the park that day? Would she be able to continue living? Those were some of the deepest insecurities Maura had; was she too dependent on Jane? She had a healthy amount of growing up to do. This was the first step.

 

Jane lie in her bed, staring at the ridiculous soap opera that seemed to loop on every station you could find in here. Everything ached, ugh. Her muscles were repairing themselves and it felt like the nurses were making jerky out of her every time they prodded her. Her mind was unclear from all the antibiotics and painkillers they had her on. She was not a happy camper.

 

She remembered Maura carrying her; she had woken for a minute and realized what was happening. All she could comprehend was Maura’s tearful voice chanting that everything would be okay. In light of it all, Jane was kind of furious at herself for making her love carry her 10 miles. Well, she was in the hospital and she couldn’t change that, might as well make the best of it. Maybe if- when she got out, she would try a bit harder to find some work. If not for her, then for Maura and the future she talked to vividly about.

 

____________________________________________

 

Buttery sunlight rose through the red silk curtains, bathing the two figures in light. Maura grimaced and rolled away from the window, hiding her eyes in her wife’s hair. They had a few precious minutes before their overzealous daughter would crash into their bed. Jane rolled over, facing her wife, and placed a lazy kiss on her nose. It was Christmas day, and Jane couldn’t ask for anything more. She pulled the covers over their heads, and trailed a solitary finger down the angelic jaw in front of her, tucking golden waves behind Maura’s ear. Maura let out a content sigh and opened her eyes, staring into the shadowed face of her lover, wife, soulmate, and fellow mother. Life was perfect, it truly was.


	3. 3

“Jane Clementine Rizzoli! We can’t just leave her here, she saved us from those men; she deserves that much!” Maura said loudly, motioning to the body of woman who had saved them from a brutal beating while they were sleeping.

 

“Maur, you don’t understand. When you’re on the streets, you don’t ‘go back’ for people. You run or you get your ass kicked. If we come by here again, we’ll give her some change or something, but we. have. to. go.” Jane yelled, tugging Maura away from the battle scene in front of her. Maura had work in the morning, and Jane needed to go around the commons to look for change.

 

Maura just didn’t want to run quite yet, this woman had saved their lives, lives no one cared about. They had awoken to screaming and shouting coupled with some belligerent swearing. Jane had, what Maura called “Street Reflexes”, and was already in front of Maura, shielding any her from any danger. Before Maura could even react, a moan from the sidewalk caught her attention. A woman, maybe mid-thirties, was lying on the ground with a small trail of blood pooling around what was probably a knife wound on her side. Maura found out later that there were some drunken men trying to rob the girls of their blankets and firewood they had gathered for the solitary purpose of making two lives harder than they already were.

The woman must have fought them off while they were sleeping. There was sort of an unwritten rule amongst the homeless in Boston, you always looked out for one another when it came to “The Entitled”. “The Entitled” was a negative slur towards the folks in the city who looked down on the subculture, assuming that homeless people were just lazy, schizophrenic, basket cases who spoke to themselves at night.

Maura tore away from Jane, who just stood there and rolled her chocolate eyes at Maura’s naive behavior. This was a terrible neighborhood in Boston and the longer they stayed there after the commotion, the greater the chance of them being found and arrested for loitering. Maura knelt down and felt the cold concrete scrape the hole in her dirty leggings. Placing an arm on the huddling form, Maura whispered her thanks and gave the woman her last $20 bill, tucking it into her pocket

 

“M-Meg” The body whispered into Maura’s ear. “Tell Meg, Cheri is sorry that she said no” The woman wailed and put her head back down on the bloody concrete, closing her eyes and whimpering.

 

“Where’s Meg, who is she?” Maura asked in a panic. This woman obviously hadn’t come over here looking for a fight and here she was, lying unconscious and bleeding in an alley behind the YMCA.

 

“Meg is, Meg is everything that I’d ever wanted but was too scared to say yes to. She’s too good for me; she deserves the moon and the stars. She deserves more than I can give her. Just...break it to her nicely, she was trying to get me to move it and off of the streets” Cheri wheezed, silent tears falling onto the pavement.

 

“Jane…Jane come on! That bar is where Meg is and we need to tell her something!” Maura cried, pulling Jane by her tattered sleeve towards The Dirty Robber, hoping that the place was still open at 4am.

 

The burst into the door and spotted a young brunette, crying into her drink which had long ago started to leak onto the counter. Assuming this was Meg, Maura ran to the girl.

 

“Meg?” Maura asked, out of breath, her malnourished body not prepared for the run she had just completed. She stopped for a moment, feeling her heart pound erratically a

 

“Y-Yes? Who are you?” The girl asked with watery red eyes, obviously upset

 

“I’m Maura; Cheri says she’s sorry that she said no! She got hurt across the street and I needed to tell you.” Maura cried, setting a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder as she continued sobbing into her drink.

 

Jane spoke up, making the girls jump. “Meg, come on; if you never hear her say it you’ll regret it forever”

Meg just silently nodded and tossed some bills on to the bar, downing the last of her drink and slamming the sweaty glass onto the wooden counter.

 

When Jane and Maura eventually led the shaking girl to the heap of a human on the cold ground Meg fell to her knees, covering the small woman with her body. Placing a small kiss on Cheri’s forehead, Meg grabbed her phone to dial 911.

 

“You guys better get out of here, wouldn’t want any trouble” Meg whispered towards the group of shivering girls, handing them a card. “I thought she’d say yes so I rented a hotel room. No need for it now, might as well go to someone who needs it. Thanks for helping”

 

Maura’s eyes filled with tears at the generosity this girl had shown them even after this whole mess. They would have a bed and pillows.

 

_______________________________________________________________

 

“Oh my god, Maur, this is like heaven! Have you felt these pillows?” Jane asked wide-eyed. She looked like a child in a toy store. They had a basic room, just a bed and a table, but to them it was the Hilton. Jane’s face was sore from smiling.

 

Maura burst out of the shower in only a towel, her clothes were hanging over the shower bars to dry off; they had been cleaned with her. Jane gave Maura an appreciative glance as she raked her eyes over her soul mate’s small form.

 

“You’re beautiful; you know that right?” Jane asked, grabbing Maura’s hand and leading them to the plus Queen sized bed. Maura let the towel fall, revealing her naked form. She wrapped her arms around herself, ashamed of the hip bones that stood out to far and the ribs that one could count clearly. She wasn’t healthy and she didn’t feel sexy.

 

“Not right now Jane, I just can’t.” Maura pleaded, getting into the bed and snuggling up under the covers, thinking of the woman who saved their life lying on the cold ground waiting for an ambulance to deliver her broken body to a hospital that was already against her, biased only because she had fallen on hard times, as all of us have.

 

Jane simply nodded and crawled into the bed, sliding a tiny arm around her lover, startled by how her once full hips, were all sharp angles and hollow. Her ribs felt like speed bumps and Jane could count them all. Maura would follow Jane anywhere without pause, so it was up to Jane to lead them in the right direction.  
_______________________________________________________________

 

“Maura-Momma! Momma Jay! It’s Chriiiiisttmasss!” A brown haired bundle jumped onto the king sized bed, tossing the duvet off the two spooning adults.

 

Jane mumbled something close to a “good morning” towards her wife and daughter and then promptly stuck her head underneath her pillow, hoping for just a few more moments of sleep. It wasn’t even light out yet, which meant that little children and their parents should still be sleeping. Maura let loose a small yelp, hurrying to cover her dignity, which had ridden up slightly sometime during the night.

 

“C’mon Doodlebug, let’s check out what Santa brought you” Maura said with a slight twitch; she was going to need a lot of Benadryl today.

 

Jane jumped up with a mighty roar and tackled her lovelies, covering them all with the comforter and kissing both their noses.

 

“C’mon Evangeline Cheri Rizzoli, it’s time for PRESENTS!” Jane yelled and jumped out of bed, her wife and child following soon after.


	4. 4

Sweet, hot summer air coated Boston in June; making all of the townsfolk live in tiny clothes and even tinier swimming attire. Jane, fresh out of the hospital, and Maura, fresh off of working a double, were sitting on the edge of a swimming hole with their bare feet dipped in the tide. Maura sighed at the sight of her love, clad in only jean shorts and a muscle shirt. Jane had started gaining back precious pounds since Maura had snagged a full-time position at the diner. They had food to eat, and a pop-up tent set up just outside a park. They were legal, and almost safe. Just a few more months were needed until they would have enough money to rent a room or apartment, laying the foundation for their future. 

Jane had started lashing out, never at Maura though. Her knuckles were always bruised and swollen, only proving that she had anger that needed expelled in better ways. Jane was struggling with something, and Maura knew just what it was. 

 

“Jane, we’ve been dating for almost two and a half years, why won’t you tell me why you can’t go home. I think I deserve that much information, after all of this.” Maura pleaded, threading their finger together, making patterns in the sand. “I just want to know you Jane, I want to know where you came from.”

“Maura, I said that I don’t talk about them; they’re fucking dead to me okay? Leave it be” Jane snarled, yanking her hand away and standing up, looking ready to leave.

 

Maura jumped; Jane’s tone wasn’t usually that poisonous and it really scared her when Jane spoke like this. She hated to see her brunette companion suffer, but it tore Maura’s heart to pieces to think that her family had hurt her. What could she do though but love her twice as fiercely though? Maura sniffled quietly, trying her best to keep her erratic breathing and salty tears a secret; she didn’t want to upset Jane further.

 

When Jane heard the small noises her blonde haired lover was trying to conceal, her heart pounded erratically and her throat tightened. How does one explain the greatest mistake of their life? How does one admit that their hard times could have been prevented? You don’t, that’s how you survive. You pretend that your shit life was the best that could happen and you blame everything around you. That’s how Jane Rizzoli survived.

 

“Maur, Maura. I- I-ugh fine. Okay.” Jane muttered, defeated. She sat back down next to Maura on their little rock platform, dipping her fingers into the stream below. “It’s all my fault really; I was a bad kid”

 

Maura just gasped, looking down at her feet. Did she really want to hear all of the details of how her rock and emotional support had fallen on these hard times?

 

Probably not, but she had asked.

 

“I was a stupid kid. I mean, I still am, but I was worse when I was 13. My Ma had raised me to stand up what I believed in, so when it came to my happiness, I did just that. I brought home my first ‘girlfriend’ and holy shit was I proud; she was quite the looker. Her name was Charlie, and she was a 16 year old just looking to take my innocence. I didn’t realize it at the time, but It wasn’t the fact that she was a girl that bothered my Ma, it was the fact that this girl couldn’t even remember my name but could remember my bra size and age. I threw a fucking tantrum when she told me that I couldn’t see her.

 

Jane took a moment to regroup her thoughts and swallow the lump in her throat.

 

“I called them terrible things Maur, I called them words that I won’t even repeat. I stole from them, I acted out. I hurt them so badly, because I was so scared of being oppressed, being limited to who I truly was. I acted like a fool, and they fucking left me. I ran away at 14, taking only my duffle bag filled with candy and my gym clothes. I brought my shitty little cell phone, but that shit got stolen from me before I was even gone 24 hours. I slept in the gym at school for two days, and when I came back to the house that I had ransacked only 48 hours before, they were gone. The “For Sale” sign fucking taunted me; on my darkest says I can still imagine my mother nailed it in herself, cursing my fucking name to hell” Jane spat, her fists clenched so tight that her nailed pierced her palms, almost drawing blood.

 

Maura let her sobs be known as she cried angrily. How could a family abandon their 14 year old daughter, over something so trivial? What kind of family didn’t even bother to check? Wait, hers did just that. Maybe they were perfect for each other after all.

 

“I’m so sorry Jane, I had no idea! I love you so much pretty girl, I just can’t even imagine” Maura sobbed, burying her head into Jane’s curls and she wrapped her arms around the defeated body of her girlfriend. She had only struggled for year and a half; Jane had been here for almost six years. Six years was almost unheard of for homeless children; normally they either died of hunger or got picked up to work as a whore.

 

The two girls shuddered and cried together as their relationship became more solid that it ever had been before. They were alone in this world, with only each other. But, that seemed to be all that they needed.

 

__________

 

Jane flipped the switch to the coffee maker, mumbling incoherent phrases about waking up so early for her loves. All she had to do was look in the living room and see her life. She had her beautiful wife, Maura, with her luscious blonde waves and hazel eyes that shone with happy tears at the sight of their gorgeous daughter, Eva. Eva, the bane of Jane’s existence, had the darkest of brown eyes, nearly black, and the prettiest blonde hair, as white as the snow falling outside.

 

Even if Maura was her biological parent, Jane felt as if this little girl had grown within her swollen womb as well. They were an inseparable trio, a force to be reckoned with.

 

Jane watched in equal parts love and adoration as her babies opened their stockings under their tiny $5 tree they had picked up and the Jack and Jill. Money didn’t matter to them anymore; how could one put a price on this? She was free from that terrible life, and fuck everyone who tried to even put a damper on the beautiful life she had now.


End file.
